


This Corporeal Frame

by GrecianUrn



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-21
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-01-09 13:39:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1146641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrecianUrn/pseuds/GrecianUrn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kisalia Maglione has been reaped as District 12's female Tribute for the 72nd Annual Hunger Games. How can someone with no physical talents survive in the Arena? Kisalia is not keen on surviving long until she gets to know her fellow Tribute from 12, Gavin Alogryn. </p><p>I can't do summaries. </p><p> </p><p>Title from line 44 of William Wordsworth's "Lines Written a Few Miles above Tintern Abbey".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

** Chapter One **

It was the Seventy-Second Annual Hunger Games. This was the last year I had to be part of the Reaping for District Twelve’s female Tribute. Somehow I was able to manage all of these years without being drawn, even with the amount of Tessare I had taken.

It was just my mother and me my father perished in a mining accident; he deserved it. My grandparents were originally from District Thirteen, but fled with their families to Twelve before their homeland was destroyed.

I stood with the other girls of my District through the announcements and “historical” film that was shown every year. The escort said something about “ladies first,” and the female’s name was drawn. It was mine.

I hesitated briefly before stepping onto the platform with the Mayor, the escort, and Twelve’s sole surviving Victor, Haymitch Abernathy. My ears rang and drowned out all noise as the escort, Effie Trinket, congratulated me and ten asked if there were any volunteers. There weren’t any, of course; the only sound was that of my mother sobbing. I did my best to ignore my mother’s wailing, but I found myself wanted to break down too.

“Now for the boys,” Effie went over to the other bowl. “The male Tribute for the Seventy-Second Annual Hunger Games is… Gavin Alogryn.

A teenager with dark hair and olive skin approached shaking. No one volunteered for him either.

Gavin and I were ushered inside of the Justice Building as soon as the Reaping ended. I looked at Gavin as we were led to the goodbye rooms. He looked like a typical Seam kid. I, however, looked like an outsider with skin like the moon with and smattering of freckles and golden-green eyes. My wavy, dark brown hair was the only thing that could pass as being from the Seam. Although I was born there and my parents were as well, I did not have Seam blood, I had traitor’s blood.

When my mother burst into the room I told her not to worry. “I know what to do. Don’t hurt yourself by worrying about me. If I know you’re back here anxiety-ridden then I won’t be able to win.”

Our time was up quicker than it should have been. I hugged my mom and then led her out of the room. Afterwards, Gavin and I were guided to the train.

I wanted to sit in my room by myself, but Effie Trinket insisted that everyone eat together. I sat stiffly in the dining chair and silently studied the three other people sharing the table. Effie was eating a pastel-coloured pastry puff, Haymitch was attached to a flask, and Gavin stared at the display of food nauseously. I turned my attention to Haymitch. This man was supposed to help save my life, but he didn’t even look like he could walk a straight line. Would I become dependent on drugs and alcohol if I made it out alive? I sipped at the water placed before me. I would have to eat when I was alone.

“What are you looking at, sweetheart?” Haymitch questioned, not taking his eyes from the flask.

I smirked. _Maybe he is still capable._ “You,” I replied.

“Why?” He asked, looking up from his drink and straight into my eyes.

“I’ve got amazing powers of observation,” I quoted a very old song from before Panem existed. I bowed my head and excused myself.

The rest of the trip was pretty quiet. I overheard Gavin asking Abernathy about the Games. He was giving rather good advice, but I stayed in the background with a book.


	2. Chapter 2

** Chapter Two **

I was immediately a million times more uncomfortable when we arrived in the Capitol. There were so many odd-looking people everywhere who seemed so unnatural. Effie ushered us to the Tribute quarters to “freshen up.” Everything was so foreign. I had never experienced anything so extravagant in the Seam. I felt so alienated. I found myself missing home and my mother more than ever.

I was escorted to dinner by an Avox after an hour of staring at the false forest outside the window in my room. I was greeted pleasantly by Effie as I was seated. She noticed that I had not changed at all. “Oh… my dear, didn’t you freshen up at all?”

“My apologies, I was distracted,” I said blandly.

“I’ve never seen you before,” Gavin stated.

“Most people don’t,” My golden eyes shimmered under the unnatural lighting as I looked up at Gavin. “However, I have seen you.”

Haymitch put down his wine glass and turned his full attention to our conversation.

My eyes glinted dangerously as I smirked at Gavin’s confusion.

“How old are you?” My fellow Tribute asked.

“Eighteen,” I responded.

“You don’t look like you are.”

“I am fully aware that I look younger than you.”

“I’m fifteen. We must have gone to school together at one point.”

“We did.”

“How did I never see you? Where do you live?”

“The Seam,” I broke eye contact to poke at the salad in front of me.

“That could be useful,” Haymitch added, referring to my obscurity.

“Indeed,” I agreed as I speared a cube of cheese.


	3. Chapter 3

** Chapter Three **

Training started the next day. Haymitch told us not to show our strengths to the other Tributes. I didn’t; I never planned on doing so. Instead I sat in a corner training my feeble arm muscles with a small set of weights while I watched the majority of the other Tributes show off. No one paid much attention to me other than to glance at me and snigger.

Haymitch approached me before I could hide in my room. “Were you faking that in the group training?”

“No,” I replied bluntly. “You said not to show our strengths. However, you said nothing about our weaknesses. Though I must admit I displayed both at the same time,” I looked at my District’s Mentor blankly.

“There is a possibility that you may have a chance at this if you let me help you,” He told me, sounding a bit annoyed.

“Don’t waste your time on me. Help that boy,” I said and then disappeared into my room.

I curled up in the large, luxurious bed and buried my face into a plush pillow. Of course I wouldn’t make it. I would never get sponsors after my disastrous chariot ride that morning. The dress my stylist had given me was a flat black that glimmer and sparked under direct sunlight. I stood frozen, looking at my hand that gripped the side of the carriage. My eyes were as dark as the coal my dress represented. The dress caught the crowd’s attention, but what was wearing it looked dead.

Training was the same every day, and soon enough I was faced with my interview with Caesar Flickerman. I was mentally absent while the styling team groomed me and stuffed my body into another black dress. This time it had veins of diamonds running down its fabric. I was shoved backstage while the boy from Eleven was interviewed. I looked over my shoulder and saw Haymitch watching me. I quickly snapped my head forward. _Breathe._ The last thing I needed was a panic attack.

I was doomed. I had scored a five on my evaluation. Did anyone even score that low anymore? I displayed my knowledge of plants on the huge monitor in the training center; it was nothing impressive. I kept thinking that my plan was to make everyone think I was helpless and hopeless, but now I was beginning to think I actually was.

Gavin came backstage dressed in a black suit to match my dress and smiled weakly at me. The boy from Eleven came around the corner and I was nudged forward. I tried not to look at the massive audience, but I could not help myself. I froze. The diamonds in my dress captured the light and refracted coloured light around me. I heard gasps. I drew in a shaky breath and continued to the chair next to Flickerman.

The host gave me a welcoming smile as I sat. “I must say, you look stunning tonight,” Caesar said.

I kept my wide golden-green eyes locked on his. _You can write. You know how to use word. You know how to charm._ It was as if my face melted off and exposed the beast underneath. My eyes relaxed as the diamonds made them glow with different colours. My plump lips settled into a seductive grin. “Why thank you, Mr. Flickerman. You yourself are quite a sight to behold,” My eyes narrowed wisely as I awaited a response.

“Oh, please, it’s Caesar. No need to be so formal, my dear. Think of us as good friends. I am sure we will be,” Flickerman said with a slight chuckle. He seemed a little flushed. I began to wonder what I looked like. _Does he find me attractive?_ I was too out of it before I went on stage to notice.

“So, Kisalia Maglione of District Twelve,” the host continued, “such a beautiful name. I must say it suits you marvelously.”

“You flatter me, Caesar,” I smiled warmly and briefly batted my false lashes. “If I am to call you Caesar then you must call me Ki,” I took Caesar’s free hand in both of mine and rested them in his lap.

He was definitely flustered now. “Ki?” He questioned, nearly stammering.

“Yes, like that which unlocks things,” I grinned playfully. I reclaimed my hands and straightened my posture.

“Well, my dear Ki, I think you hold the keys to our hearts,” Caesar said and then looked to the audience. “Am I right?”

The audience started cheering loudly. I braved it and looked upon them, my eyes catching the refractions of the gems, Caesar took my hand and stood; I did the same. As he kissed my hand I curtsied deeply, never breaking eye contact. The crowd went wild again, and then I was finally free to leave.

Gavin seemed to be in shock as I passed him backstage and squeezed his shoulder in reassurance as he went on.

Haymitch looked amused. “You are one surprising young woman,” He said with a faint grin.

Effie was complimenting Gavin and me at dinner that evening. “I must say you both did marvelously. Kisalia, you surprised me especially. I did not even know you could talk that much.”

“Neither did I,” I mumbled.

Haymitch snorted into his cup. “I never knew that such an unpleasant person could be such a charming flirt.”

“That I knew,” I said after I swallowed a piece of fruit.

Haymitch chortled and then said,” If you keep this up you may just win.”

I glanced at Gavin. He looked more depressed than usual. He did not need to hear this, especially since he would be going in the arena in several hours. “No, I won’t,” I said. “I am incredibly out of shape compared to everyone else, and I have asthma.”

“You don’t have to worry about the asthma. You can bet your ass that you secured sponsors after that performance” Haymitch said.

Gavin got up and went upstairs toward the balcony. I glared toxically at Haymitch and then wordlessly followed Gavin.

“He’s right, you know. You could make it,” Gavin told me as I sat next to him on the cool concrete.

“No, I won’t. I doubt either of us will. One of the Careers will probably win.” I looked up into the dark, blank sky. “I always told myself I would kill myself if I ever got picked so I wouldn’t have to go out painfully and watch so many others die too. But I don’t think I could really do that. It’s not that I am afraid of death, I just couldn’t leave my mom alone. We’ve only got each other.”

“Me neither. I’ve got three little sisters and no parents,” Gavin admitted.

I looked at him with calculating eyes. I searched his sad grey eyes for signs of a lie, but didn’t fine one. “Let’s stick together then. We have a better chance that way,” I told him. “If I win then I’ll take care of your sisters, and if you win then you take care of my mother. Deal?”

Gavin looked at me, his eyes a little brighter. “Alright,” he agreed and then turned back to the sky.

I had to take an approved sleeping aid that night. I knew I needed to sleep, but I also know I would not be able to without help.

 

The flight to the Arena location was agonizing. I got very nauseous and almost fainted when I was injected with the tracking device. As Cinna helped me dress in the snow outfit provided I tried not to vomit.

As I shakily stepped into the tube I said, “thank you. I know I’m not the most pleasant person to deal with, but you really have helped me. Take good care of the next Tribute,” I smiled as I was lifted upward.


	4. Chapter 4

** Chapter Four **

 

The arena unveiled around me in a blinding whiteness. There was snow everywhere. I could handle this type of snow. The Cornucopia stood out black against the pure white of the snow. I knew the snow around it wouldn’t be so pure for long.

The countdown started. I realized we were not numbered and were fully covered by our snowsuits, hats, gloves, and goggles. There was no way I was going to recognize anyone, let alone Gavin. _Shit._ I really started to feel panicked.

Suddenly the countdown ended and everyone was sprinting toward the Cornucopia. Most of them tripped in the deep snow. I leapt from foot to foot through the sea of snow while those around me kept stumbling.

I got to the Cornucopia and slung a backpack over my shoulder. I grabbed a spear and a sword from the weapons rack and started hopping toward a patch of trees.

“Kisalia!” Someone behind me called out.

I knew that voice. How did he recognize me? “Gavin? Just follow me. Don’t stop,” I called over my shoulder.

We made it to the woods and I handed Gavin the sword. I was almost wheezing already. _Alright, Haymitch, where’s my inhaler?_ “We need to keep moving,” I said. Even with my knowledge of how to maneuver in snow, I was still slow. My asthma would not allow me to run, so I started jogging forward at an angle. “If you’re going to stick with me then we need to find somewhere to hide. If not then kill me and get it over with so I don’t have to waste my time. Just remember to keep your promise.”

“Hiding it is,” Gavin said, sounding quite nervous.

I needed to walk after only a few minutes. The dry air was killing me. Cannons were going off the entire time. I had not counted them.

I stopped abruptly and look at the tree directly in front of me. I was dreadful at climbing, but pines weren’t all that difficult. I began the ascent, and Gavin followed. I stopped two-thirds of the way up the massive conifer and straddled a branch. Gavin settled on the opposite side of me.

“Just be quiet,” I whispered between wheezes. The attack was a minor one. I just had to stay calm and breathe through it. I rested my back against and tree and concentrated on breathing. When the wheezing subsided I started quietly going through the backpack I had grabbed. There was rope, a few knives, a metal water bottle, and a white blanket.

I twisted around and saw that my companion was doing the same thing with his backpack. He had the same blanket, rope, some bandages, and an empty metal bottle as well.

“What are we going to eat?” Gavin whispered.

“I’m not worried about that yet. We have water with the snow,” I scooped some snow from the branch about me into my bottle after I secured my pack and spear, and shoved it down the front of my suit.

“You’re good with snow,” Gavin said quietly after a while.

“We got lucky with that,” I told him. “I like snow.” I wrapped the blanket around my legs and tied myself to the tree. I hated heights, but the trees seemed like the safest place to be.

There were a few more cannon throughout the night. The display showed that thirteen Tributes had already perished. That seemed like a lot just for the first day, but maybe that meant the Games would not last so long.

As much as I did not want to, I eventually drifted off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for all of the short chapters.


	5. Chapter 5

** Chapter Five **

            I was awakened the next morning by a nearby commotion. I quietly untied myself, which woke Gavin, and packed my stuff back into the backpack. Gavin did the same once he realized what was going on. Luckily he did not say anything upon waking. I was hoping our white suits helped us blend in with the snow-covered pine.

            We silently waited for the people to leave. I happened to notice someone in a tree a few away from ours. He was frantically packing as he looked down. The people below were trying to taunt him out. _Careers… We’re next._

            One of the Careers took an axe to the tree, causing the Tribute in it to drop their things and cling to the branch he was on.

            My heart was pounding so loudly I worried the Careers would hear it. I suddenly felt a gloved hand cover mine. I drew in a sharp breath and flung my head around. It was just Gavin. That is when I noticed the camera hidden in a knot above us. I turned my attention back to the Careers and the poor soul in the tree.

            “Stop, I’ve got a better idea,” one of the male Careers said.

I heard the distinctive sound of a match being struck. My heart nearly exploded. I suddenly wished I had grabbed a bow and a quiver of arrows as well so I could pick off the Careers before they set the whole forest on fire. Even though the forest was wet with snow, one could never know what was actually natural when the Capitol was involved. All I could do was watch and wait.

It took a while, but after a few fire arrows the tree was alight. Gavin squeezed my hand. The Tribute looked as if he was about to jump, but then decided against it. I was sure he did not want to be at the mercy of the Careers if he survived the fall.

I watched him burn. His suit caught like tinder. He wailed like nothing I had ever heard. He managed to stay in the tree as the flames ate through his suit and began to nibble at his flesh. He fell when he started to smell of cooking meat, hitting branches on the way down.

The Careers looked at him for a moment as his body sizzled in the snow. “Quick, put him out,” one of the females said.

_No. Please don’t._ I knew what was coming.

The Careers started to throw snow on the screaming boy to suffocate the flames. A male Careers turned to the female with the axe.

_Oh Gods… No…_

Claw, a female from District One started hacking up the burnt boy. He let out the most bone-shattering screams.

_He’s still alive. Please just let the poor boy die._ I had an iron grip on Gavin and my branch so I would not fall our or risk moving.

The boy did not die until he was decapitated. Tears were pouring from my eyes and steaming up my goggles. The Careers left the head and took everything else with them.

It was facing me. That bloodstained face was tilted up toward where I was. It was as if he knew I was there. One of his cheeks fell away from where the flesh was gashed. Those dead black eyes bore into me. “Why didn’t you help me?” I read in the glossy surfaces.

My petrified stare was broken when a hovercraft arrived and retrieved the glaring head. It watched me even on its way into the sky. The hovercraft then went in the direction of the Careers. After a while and some noises of disagreement, mismatched body parts were lifted to join their head.

The fire was spreading. We had to get out. I cleaned off my goggles, but did not budge.

“W-what are w-we g-g-going to d-do?” Gavin asked shakily.

“I want to stay, but we can’t,” I replied. I secured my backpack and spear and began the descent. I bowed my head briefly over the blood-soaked snow and then started off in the opposite direction of the Careers. Gavin kept close.

I could not get the smell of burning flesh out of my nostrils nor the screams of that boy out of my head. I stopped every thirty seconds to look around and make sure we were not being trailed. I wanted to break down and have a panic attack, but I had to keep going.

 

We had been walking for at least an hour. There had not been any cannons since the boy-in-the-tree’s, and I was starting to get worried. The Capitol did not want their viewers to get bored. There were still ten of us left. The crazy shit would start soon.

 

The blizzard started a few minutes later. I could not see Gavin, let alone anything around me.

A cannon went off. _Nine… seven more until it’s just us._ I felt Gavin stop with a tug at my hand.

I stopped as well and stepped closer to my companion. He was looking at something. When I saw it my breath froze in my throat. There were three pairs of snow goggles looking at us.

My right hand immediately went to my spear. I saw Gavin’s move toward the sword strapped to his back. I squeezed his hand and tugged. I took off my goggles and shoved them into the white pack on my back. I was now completely camouflaged. Gavin followed my lead as we ran.

A cannon went off. _How many people are around us?_

We ran until I tripped over something. Gavin and I stumbled over it and landed in the snow.

Something hissed. _Shit. Shit. Shit._  I felt the snow shift around us.

I was suddenly flung into the air fortunately I did not land on my spear.

I heard a scream nearby and then a cannon. “GAVIN!” I shrieked. I clambered to my feet and clutched my spear.

“Over here!” My companion called out.

“Get out of here!” I yelled to him. “You have your sisters and my mother to look after. I swear I make a shitty mum.”

“Thank you. You don’t deserve this,” was the last thing Gavin said before he fled.

There was another scream, this time female, and another cannon.

“Oi! Whatever the fuck you are!” I called out to distract whatever was out there away from Gavin.

Something moved to my right. I saw goggles. I was about to strike when their wearer rose their hands in surrender. “I want to help,” he said. He did not really want help, he just thought he would have a better chance of surviving whatever creature was in the snow with me beside him.

Whatever it was started moving again. I could feel the snow crumbling and shifting around under me. It was burrowing around us. Something shot out of the snow between the other Tribute and me, knocking me backwards.

It was gigantic. The gargantuan white snake crashed down on the other Tribute with its jaws unhinged. It swallowed him whole and chomped down. The tribute exploded in blood and guts, which sprayed all over my face and snowsuit.

A cannon boomed.

I was petrified. I was already afraid of snakes, and a hundred-yard one was not helping me stay calm.

The creature turned to looked at me. It had two sets of slit, sky-blue eyes, one on top of the other. Its mouth opened in an eruption of blood. Large spider-like pinchers on the sides of its face snapped ferociously. It had normal snake fangs along with a second inner mouth lined with pointy, gnashing teeth.

I gripped my spear so hard I thought either it or my knuckles would shatter.

A tail tipped like my spear shot out of the snow and whipped toward me. I tried to jump out of the way, but it was too quick. Ivory coils wrapped tightly around my body as I clung to my weapon. With a chilling _hiss_ the snake started to descend upon me like she had with that Tribute boy.

I jabbed my spear upward as it hurtled toward me. The blade pierced though the tough skin of the roof of its mouth and into the softness of its brain.

The snow snake let out a deafening screech as its head fell backwards. However, I was still stuck in its coils. I felt my body giving up as I slipped into unconsciousness.


	6. Chapter 6

** Chapter Six **

 

I woke up to the sound of a soothing, chime-like beeping. I came-to slowly. As soon as I knew where I was I hastily squirmed out of the now-loosened snake coils.

A canister attached to a parachute laid on the ground. It was from a sponsor. _It’s about time, Haymitch._ I picked up the silver container and opened it. Inside there was a small slip of paper that read, “He’s still alive. – H”. I assumed “H” was Haymitch. The canister also contained a hunk of bread and an inhaler.

I immediately took a puff of the inhaler. The bread was gone quickly. I had not eaten since I arrived in the arena. I had no idea how long I had been out. I pulled out my water bottle and chugged the contents. It was warm. The dead coils of the snake had insulated me and kept me warm enough to survive the freezing climate. I filled the bottle with more snow and followed the faint footprints in the snow.

As I walked I was on the lookout for Tributes and more snow snakes. I stuck out like a sore thumb now that my outfit was soaked and caked with dried blood. I wondered if anyone else had died. For some reason I doubted it.

The footprints led to a different wood from the one that laid in ashes behind me. The trees were denser here. The prints were much easier to track in the woods.

About forty-five minutes into the forest I heard voices. I froze and crouched under a fir.

“Where’s your girlfriend, buddy?” A female voice questioned. I recognized it as Claw’s. “She’s not dead yet. We haven’t seen her picture in the sky,” she had to be talking about me to Gavin.

I crawled closer to the voices until I was behind a bush. One of the Careers was on the other side of it. Including Claw, there were three Careers surrounding Gavin in a clearing. No one else had died. This was it. Claw had her axe, the Career in front of me seemed to have a set of knives and two swords, and the one across from him had a bow.

“Just kill him and get it over with. He obviously doesn’t know were the Twelve girl is,” the male Career in front of me said.

I silently sucked in a breath. I had to act now if I was going to save Gavin. I gulped and gritted me teeth, “I’m so sorry,” I whispered as I jabbed my spear into the boy’s spine. He fell, paralyzed, but not dead. I felt horrible.

An arrow was shot into the bust as soon as I scuttled away. Claw started hacking through the bushes with her axe while the other Career kept his bow on Gavin.

“Shoot him!” Claw screeched.

The archer put an arrow through Gavin’s chest, and another through Claw’s skull. My joints locked up when Claw’s cannon sounded. There was another when the guy I stabbed was shot. Gavin was still alive. I had to get to him before he died. He had to win for his sisters.

The archer started shooting the bushes at random. I took a deep breath and quickly took the rope out of my bag. I slipped it through a hole at the butt of my spear and tied a secure knot, never taking my eyes off of the archer. I shed my bag; I doubted I would need it anymore. I darted out of the bushes and was immediately shot. The arrow buried itself between my left shoulder and breast.

I bit back a scream as I stumbled forward. With the end of the rope wrapped around my hand, I swung the spear in an outward arc. The Career was not expecting it. The blade of my spear gashed his belly. He dropped to the ground, clutching at the guts that were slipping out of him.

I untied the rope from my spear and walked over to him. I ripped open his already-torn jacket, and slid the spearhead between his ribs and into his heart. The cannon sounded instantly.

I ran over to Gavin. “Gavin!” I took the boy into my arms. He had already bled too much. “Kid, you can’t die. You have your sisters. Come on, hang in there. I can kill myself, but you have to survive.”

“No,” Gavin gripped my hand. “I can’t make it. Take care of them,” he went limp.

The final cannon sounded.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, the Victor of the 72nd Annual Hunger Games, Kisalia Maglione of District Twelve!”

“I will,” I promised the body in my arms. I could not move. I was numb to the cold and the arrow sticking out of my shoulder.

The live feed stopped right before the Peacekeepers had to knock me out in order to pry me off of Gavin.


	7. Chapter 7

** Chapter Seven **

 

I felt myself waking from my drug-induced coma. I did not want to wake up. I remembered everything. I did not want to be paraded around and interviewed. I just wanted to go home to my mother and sleep. But I had to wake up if I wanted to get there.

I cracked my eyes open and peeked through heavy lids. Haymitch Abernathy was sitting in the corner of the room with a flask. “Good of you to join us,” he sounded sober.

“Where are we?” The room was too fancy and large to be in a train on the way home. I assumed we were back in the Capital. I suddenly realized I was naked under the soft covers, and that there was a band around my waist, keeping me pinned to the bed.

“The Capital,” Haymitch confirmed. “They’re not done with you yet.”

An Avox came in to check on the tubes running out of my arm and to feed me. I slipped into habit and was overly polite. The Avox came back after Haymitch left to remove the restraints. I was taken to my stylist soon afterward.

“They left you with quite a scar,” Cinna said as his hand brushed over my healed arrow wound.

“Scars are like books, they each hold their own stories,” I said quietly.

I was dressed in a long, gauzy black dress with a deep burgundy underlay. After the prep team fussed over me for a few hours I was deemed fit to be seen in public.

I stood on the metal platform under the stage by myself. I was shaking uncontrollably. I did not want to relive the Games and watch everyone die again.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and snarled, lashing out at whoever was there. My wrist was grabbed before I could inflict any damage.

“Woah, it’s just me, sweetheart,” Haymitch said.

My body relaxed and then when back to shivering,

I was pulled into a hug. “You can almost go home,” Haymitch whispered against my billowing dark brown hair which was speckled with crystals. It was not an affectionate gesture, but an assuring one. The warmth of his body calmed me. I was not used to human touch; I had missed how healing it could be. Haymitch left for his own platform after a few seconds and I was left alone with my thoughts.

My prep team was announced, then Effie. There was a longer break between announcing names as Effie soaked up her spotlight, Cinna was called next shortly after him Haymitch was called and I felt the platform below me rumble to life. When Caesar Flickerman announced me as the Victor of the 72nd Annual Hunger Games it rose and I was exposed to the world.

I looked to Caesar, who greeted me with his typical comforting smile. He took my bare hand and kissed it. I was too stiff to move. The sparse glitter in the black tulle of my dress twinkled as I stood. As Caesar led me to the Victor’s throne the burgundy silk underneath appeared to be flames under the transparent black material.

_You can do this, just get through this and you can go home._

I felt Caesar give my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. He sat back in his chair. “My dear Ki, you look ravishing as always.”

I bunched the glittery tulle between my fingers. _You can pretend again._ My mind went back to the “film” we were about to watch. _These people are sick, watching our hell for their own entertainment._ I lifted my gaze from the floor and studied Caesar’s eyes. He probably started off like the people in the audience when he began this job, but after years of getting to know Tribute after Tribute and then seeing them die he must have changed.

_Pretend again._ I smirked as I lounged back in my throne. “Are we really going to do this again, darling? Tricks only work on me one, love.”

Caesar laughed, “Of course not.” He then went on to talk about this year’s Games to introduce the video.

The film started and my body locked up. I knew they would be filming my reactions. I would not give them what they wanted. I would give them more than they ever gave me, nothing. It started with the reapings. All but one of these people were dead. I was watching lambs sent to the slaughter while the audience chatted about their favourites. My jaw clenched and I briefly looked at Caesar. He was watching and pretending to enjoy it, reacting with the rest of the audience.

I watched the audience instead. The sound of the video was enough to rip away at my sanity. I heard the chariots, training where I sat in the corner, and the evaluations in which I seemed unimpressive. The crowd went wild as my first interview was played. Then the Games began all over again. The audience cheered me on as I hopped through the snow and cooed when Gavin joined me. They actually laughed when the other Tributes tripped in the deep snow.

_If only you were there, cretins._

Then the boy was burning in the tree. I felt my body shaking again and the audience turned blurry. _No reaction. Don’t give them that satisfaction. Don’t entertain them._ I could not stop shaking as the boy was being hacked up. _Why would they even show that?_ I saw the reflection in the polished floor. They were showing Gavin and me holding hands in our tree while the boy wailed. Of course they were not going to show how the Careers brought the body parts with them; I doubted they even aired it. I felt tears forming. _Cry later._

Haymitch was watching me from across the stage. The camera was on me. They wanted to see me break. The screaming seemed to grow louder. I resumed studying the audience with a collected expression. I kept the same expression throughout the crowning.

As soon as I was backstage and alone I broke down. I crumpled into a dark corner and sobbed. I ripped the crown from my head and chucked it at the wall. I tore the crystals from my hair, ripping out clumps, and flung them away from me. I tore at my dress and started wheezing, clawing my skin with long artificial nails.

Caesar Flickerman found me. “Miss Maglione, are you okay?” He questioned, knowing I was most obviously not. He knelt down to my level and saw the intensity of the damage I had inflicted. “Please stop doing that,” he said, trying to still my hands. “Kisalia, what would you do if your mother saw you doing this?” His tone was not patronizing, it was calming. He knew the question would snap me out of that state.

I was trying not to cry again. I did not want to cry in front of him. My body began to tremble again.

Haymitch rounded the corner at that moment. When he spotted me on the floor he rushed over and kneeled beside me. “It’s okay, kid. You’re going to be okay. You’re not alone. I know how this is.”

I looked at him with dark, puffy eyes. I wanted to question him and be angry. I wanted to ask him if he had seen a boy burned and dismembered while he was alive, but I knew he probably did go through something similar.

I really wanted to cry, but not with an audience.

“Come on, let’s have Cinna get you out of that,” Haymitch took the bent crown and then my hand, hoisting me off of the ground.

“Sorry,” I mumbled to Caesar as I stumbled after Haymitch.

Haymitch stayed in the room while Cinna helped me undress, and looked away when I was exposed. Cinna shook his head once he saw all of the claw marks and silently cleaned them. I was given pajamas and escorted to my room by Haymitch.

“Can I trust you not to do that again?” My former mentor asked.

“Probably not,” I answered bluntly. “It was difficult to control myself while it was happening.”

“Well, I’ll be awake for a while,” Haymitch told me and then walked away.

I sighed and went into my room, immediately going to the shower. After I was clean I changed into the ugly green silk pajamas and crawled into bed. I laid there waiting for sleep to overtake me.

 

I awoke screaming from a night terror. I could swear there was someone standing at the foot of the bed. I shrieked and threw a lamp at the shadow. It hit the wall with a loud thud, shattering the bulb.

The door flew open and the room flooded with light. “Hey! Kisalia!” It was Haymitch. He came over to where I was pressed against the wall panting. “Nightmare?” He asked and I nodded, unable to do anything else. Haymitch peeled me away from the wall. “Come on, you have that interview in the morning,” he led me back to the bed.

I complied, but said, “I don’t think I will be able to fall back asleep.”

“You need to,” Haymitch stated. “I will stay with you. We can leave the lights on.”

As I climbed back into bed the lights dimmed to a warm glow. “Well, isn’t that romantic. You might as well crawl into bed with me,” I mumbled sarcastically.

“Don’t mind if I do,” Haymitch said, kicking off his shoes and sprawling out next to me.

As awkward as it was, it was comforting to have someone else there. I almost felt safe.

 

I was awakened by nightmares twice more that night, but Haymitch was there to coax me back to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

** Chapter Eight **

****

I awoke in the morning to Effie knocking on the door and telling me that I needed to get ready for my interview. Haymitch stretched a few feet away from me and got up.

“Thanks,” I said as he left the room.

I did not want to leave the warmth of my bed, but once I did this interview I could go home to my mum and meet Gavin’s three little sisters. I felt a tug at my heart when I thought of Gavin.

When I saw what was laid out for me to wear to the interview I grimaced. “Well, that’s sickening,” I said as I looked down at a snowsuit identical to the one I had worn in the arena, minus the blood. “This is going to be sweaty and emotional,” I said when Cinna came in to get me ready.

“It’s made of a different material that will cool your body. It’s just a modified replica,” Cinna told me.

I wore no makeup. My hair was brushed and pulled back into a braid.

The interview took place in a sitting room in the Training Center, so it was just Caesar and me.

“Are you feeling better?” Caesar asked when I walked in.

“Are we on?” I looked at one of the cameras.

“Not yet,” Caesar replied.

I looked at him for a bit and then replied, “No, I’m just coping.” I sat down in my throne beside Caesar with a sigh. “I feel like an overstuffed pillow,” I groaned.

Caesar laughed. “Ten seconds,” he warned me.

“Well then,” I sighed again and perfected my posture.

The cameras came to life and Caesar introduced me. “I must say, it is chilling to see you dressed like this again.”

“Is that a pun, my dear?” I smirked. I was too eager to leave. I wanted to do well so I could get out faster.

Caesar laughed again, “I did not even think of it that way, but I guess you’re right.” He paused for a second. “Now, there is a question that I’m sure most of us are dying to know the answer to.”

I tried not to scowl at his wording. “What question may that be?”

“Why were you looking at the audience last night while the video was playing?” Caesar asked. I could tell from his eyes that he did not want to ask it, but was told to.

I smiled softly. “Oh, well it’s simple really. Why would I want to watch the ugliness of death while there were so many beautiful people before me?” That was either going to be a hit or injure someone I cared about. Caesar loved it, so hopefully everyone would be safe.

“You displayed quite a talent with the spear. How did you develop such a talent and why didn’t you utilize it in the evaluation?” The wording of his question was obviously scripted.

“I played with sticks a lot when I was younger. I’d twirl them around and spar with trees.  I had never held a spear until the Games, but I picked it because I figured it would have a similar feel. I showed my intellect in the evaluation. I find knowledge more valuable than brawn.”

Caesar asked me a few more simple questions about my life before the Games and how I anticipated it changing. Then he took one of my small, pale hands and asked, “Are you really going to take care of those three little girls, Gavin Alogryn’s sisters?”

“Of course I will,” I said without hesitation, “that is a promise I could never break.”

“Do you know anything about them?”

“Nothing other than there are three of them and they are all younger than Gavin,” I felt emotion start to bubble up at the mention of my fallen comrade.

“Well, you are going to be very busy. They are three-year-old triplets named Allana, Ammalia, and Annalise,” Caesar told me with a grin. He thought that would help me.

“Oh… yes I will be,” I sat back in the throne for a moment. “At least they have very cute names,” I fixed my posture.

“There were some very touching scenes between you and Gain,” Caesar’s eyes apologized for what was coming. “You found comfort in each other and were determined to keep him alive to get back to those little girls. You seemingly awoke from death in the dead coils of the snow serpent to make sure he was alright, and in the end you were willing to kill yourself so he could go home. What was he to you? We know from footage that he had no idea who you were, but you knew him. Was there some secret feelings you had for him?”

“No, it was nothing like that. I notice everybody. I did not really pay much mind to him until the day before the Games when he told me about his sisters and how he was the only one to take care of them. Twenty-three deaths were too many. I could not let three more be added to that,” I replied. I wanted this to be over.

Caesar noticed my pleading eyes and wrapped up the interview. “Are you going to be okay?” He asked once all of the cameras were gone.

“There will never be another day where I will be okay. My fate was sealed when my name was drawn. I shall be damned forever,” I smiled sadly.

“Well put,” Haymitch said from the doorway. “Come on kid, let’s go home.”

“I really wish you wouldn’t call me that,” I said as I stood. “Oh well, whatever gets me out of this suit.”

I turned briefly to Caesar and said “thank you” before following Haymitch back to District Twelve’s suites.

A bag was already packed for me. Effie said I could retrieve any personal items, but I neither brought nor gained any. I grabbed my bag, hoping that it would signal my eagerness for departure. Effie finally appeared again and it was time to go home.

Cinna and the prep team were there to see us off. It was a surprise when Caesar Flickerman showed up at the last minute without cameras.

“Do you think you’re going to come visit?” Caesar questioned.

“I really would rather not,” I blurted out. Caesar looked hurt. I did not want to hurt him. “You’ll have to come visit me,” my eyes narrowed as I smirked and boarded the train.

“He doesn’t do that to anyone, at least not what I’ve seen,” Haymitch told me as I scouted out a bedroom to hide in.

“Fantastic,” I mumbled.


	9. Chapter 9

** Chapter Nine **

The nightmares came back that night.

Haymitch drunkenly stumbled into the room with his knife brandished. “What is it?” He slurred.

“It was just another nightmare. Sorry,” I said, covering myself with the sheets.

“Whaddya sorry for?” The only other livening Victor from District Twelve questioned.

“For waking you up,” I responded.

“Hah, nonsense. Does it seem like I was sleeping?”

“Probably not,” I mumbled sheepishly.

“I get nightmares too. That’s one reason why I started drinking,” Haymitch explained.

I wondered if he would be telling me all of this if he were less intoxicated. “Does it help?”

“It seems like it does.”

I studied the drunk for a few moments until he asked, “Do you want me to stay again?”

I nodded without thinking. “I mean, you don’t have to be in here. I can fall asleep just anywhere if you were… doing something else.”

“Whatever you want, princess,” Haymitch chuckled lightly.

“You really need to think of something better to call me if you want to keep your body intact,” I growled. I grabbed a pillow and blankets and followed Haymitch to his room. There were bottles both full and empty on the table and nightstand. “You’ve outdone yourself,” I grumbled sarcastically. The bed was still made. He obviously had not even tried sleeping yet. I didn’t blame him. I also did not blame him for the drinking. I had heard what had happened to his family and girlfriend after his victory. I knew I would not be able to survive that. “Does it really get that much worse?” I asked as I looked at the bottles.

“For you, sweetheart, it probably will.”

“What do you mean?” My eyes shot to Haymitch’s.

“How about you go to sleep and I’ll tell you when you’re awake and I’m sober,” Haymitch suggested.

“I will not be able to sleep if you don’t tell me. I will be worrying about what it could be all night.”

            “You have people you love and you’re attractive and adored in the Capitol.”

            “I get the first part about having loved ones, but the second half?” I looked at Haymitch quizzically.

            “Forget it,” Haymitch said, but his eyes told me he could not tell me, at least not here.

            _So, we’re watched even on the train? For some reason I doubt the Victor’s Village will be much better._ “Fine,” I sounded exasperated as I slumped down onto the bed. I watched Haymitch through heavily-lidded eyes. “Do you drink until you pass out every night?”

            “Pretty much,” he replied without looking at me.

            “There are easier ways to die,” I stated.

            “Hmm,” Haymitch did not speak.

            I sighed and burrowed under the blanket I brought from my room and snuggled into the pillows.

            “Do you do that every night so you remember what it’s like to be held?” Haymitch asked with a bit of a sneer.

            I smirked. “Pretty much,” I echoed his earlier response.

            Haymitch watched me until I grew too tired to watch back.

            I awoke with a jolt when I heard glass shatter. The room was still dimly lit. Haymitch slept sitting in the chair with his upper body splayed across the table. He must have knocked a bottle off of the table in his sleep. I carefully got out of bed and slunk out the door to find an Avox. I found one of the poor things cleaning the main dining area. A digital clock read 3 AM. I smiled somberly when the Avox noticed me. “I’m sorry to bother you, but Haymitch has broken glass in his room. I’d clean it myself, but I don’t know where anything is.”

            The Avox nodded and left the room, returning with some sort of machine on a pole. She followed me to Haymitch’s room and soundlessly sucked up the broken glass with the useful machine.

            “Thank you,” I said when she was finished. “I’ll move the rest of the bottles so he doesn’t break anymore.”

            The Avox bowed her head and then left. I moved all of the bottles from Haymitch’s table to the dresser. _He’s going to have horrible cramps if he stays like that._ I observed my fellow Victor. “Haymitch,” I said firmly, trying to wake him although I knew it would be of no use. I then shook his shoulder. Still nothing. I knew I would not be able to carry him. _Maybe I can drag him._ With a sigh I secured Haymitch’s arm over my shoulder and pulled him out of the chair. As soon as all of his weight was on me I collapsed. The bed was only five feet away, but I could not make it.

            The Avox appeared in the doorway. She must have heard the thud. “Do you think you could help me get him on the bed?”

            The girl nodded and scurried over to us. She flung Haymitch’s other arm over her shoulder, and we drug him over to the bed together. “Thanks again, you’re wonderful. I am going to stay and make sure he doesn’t choke on his own vomit.” I laughed when I saw the way the Avox looked between Haymitch and me. “No worries, I won’t take advantage of him while he’s passed out.”

            The Avox blushed and left the room.

            I crawled back into bed bedside Haymitch.

            “How did I get in bed with you?” I heard as I woke up.

            I yawned and said, “We fucked.”

            “What?!” Haymitch drew away from me.

            I grinned. “I’m just kidding. A nice Avox girl and I drug your unconscious arse up here.”

            Haymitch groaned and turned away from me.

            “Hangover, eh? Maybe you shouldn’t have had so much to drink,” I grumbled.

            Haymitch spun back around and grabbed my face between both of his hands. I instinctually froze up. “Listen, princess, nothing you or anyone else says is going to change my habits. I am tired of hearing your comments about my drinking,” he growled.

            My eyes narrowed. I took his own prickly face between my much smaller, paler hands, twining my fingers in his dirty blonde strands. “Listen, assface, you’d better get used to my comments. They aren’t going to stop. You’re drinking is not a habit, it’s an addiction. It’s harmful in more than one way. Believe it or not, I’m actually starting to care about you. I’ve seen addiction in people I’ve been close to. I know nothing I say or do will make you stop. That can only come from you. But Gods help me if I don’t do anything to make you think about it.” I gave his hair a good yank before I released him.

            However, I was still in his grasp. “You’re an idiot,” he said after studying my squished face.

            “Thank you, I find it to be one of my redeeming qualities,” I grinned.

            “Crazy too,” he let me go.

            “Aye, that too,’ I got out of bed. I gathered the bottles with any alcohol remaining in them and left. After I poured the booze down the sink I changed out of my pajamas.

            Haymitch avoided me for the rest of the trip and stayed in his room intoxicated. I did not bother him, knowing that we would be neighbors soon.


	10. Chapter 10

** Chapter Ten **

            My arrival home was much more eventful than I would have liked. My reunion with my mother was broadcasted, as was my meeting the triplets. A lot of pictures were taken and I was finally allowed to leave. My mother’s sister, Sarrin, accompanied us to move into our new home in the Victor’s Village.

            We only moved our personal things into the large, pre-furnished house. I was in awe of the structure. It didn’t look mechanical with straight, cold edges like those of the Capitol, it was old and warming. Each room was beautifully decorated and furnished. There was even a room for the triplets. I figured the house was decorated after I won.

The triplets were very quiet for their age. I had no doubt that it was due to the loss of their brother. Although they were so young, I was sure they were made to watch the Games, especially since their brother competed. When I tried to introduce myself to them they started crying and ran off to Aunt Sarrin. I did not blame them. They probably associated me with Gavin being taken away.

“Where are you going?” My mom asked as I was about to go out the front door.

“I just can’t be around those girls yet. They keep reminding me that I couldn’t save their brother,” I replied.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She questioned. She always asked that.

“Mum, I love you, but you wouldn’t understand. I’m going to see Haymitch.”

Mum gave me a hard look.

“I still don’t drink. Trust me, I don’t want to end up like him.” I gave her a long hug and departed for the only other inhabited house in the complex. It was directly across the street.

“You never said anything about having an aunt,” Haymitch stated when I found him among piles of bottles in his living room.

“I know,” I said simply as I looked around the house. “You really need to clean up.”

“So you didn’t come here to drink?” Haymitch sighed.

“No, I came over to mope.”

“What is it?” He already sounded bored.

“Gavin’s sisters want nothing to do with me. I hate kids, I would care less if they weren’t his, but they are. I understand why they feel that way, but I just can’t be around them right now,” I explained as I plopped down next to him on the couch. His body stiffened slightly as I let my weight rest against him. I just felt so drained.

“Ah,” He said, looking sideways at my miserably sleepy face. Of course he would understand. Even if he didn’t adopt anyone after his Games, he still got it.

“Get a pet,” Haymitch suggested as he moved to start open a new bottle. “You can bond through it. Just make sure it’s friendly. Obviously.”

“Are you friendly?” I turned to look up at him.

“No. I meant a dog or something, not me.”

“You could be my dog,” I smirked.

Haymitch just rolled his eyes.

“Fantastic idea though,” I hopped off of the couch and began to remove my belt.

“Woah!” Haymitch sputtered out what was in his mouth and gawked at me. “What the fuck are you doing? You’re not actually serious?”

“I am going to use this belt as a leash,” I said as I held it up. “But if you want to we could fuck instead,” I added nonchalantly.

“No!” He blurted out.

“Alright then, let’s go,” I grabbed his hands and yanked him off of his couch.

“What are you doing?” He asked, confused.

“We’re going to find some pets. Unless you do want me to use this on you,” I swung my belt back and forth.

He shook his head and I led him out of his house by the hand. He pulled his hand out of mine once we were outside, but still followed me.

“So,” I began, “how do we tell the difference between a stray and someone’s pet? They all look the same here.”

“In most cases we won’t be able to. You could probably just ask around once you find one,” Haymitch replied.

“If that doesn’t unveil an owner than we can just take in whomever I find. It’s not like I don’t have the funds now. I could build them their own shelter and everything.”

“You may be going a bit far, but if it makes you happy then go for it,” Haymitch sighed.

Not only did we find a dog, but we also found someone I could hire to build a shelter for other animals I may find. I ended up buying the lot behind my house for the location of the shelter. Within a week I had a small barn with several stalls. I made Haymitch stop drinking for a few hours every day to help out.

Eventually the triplets came around, drawn in by the cute dogs and cats in the barn. Unfortunately, the Victory Tour was just around the corner. I was nervous. I wasn’t ready to leave again. I had myself thinking I would be left alone for the rest of my life, even though I knew I wouldn’t. Knowing that Haymitch would be going with me gave me some sense of comfort. Effie would be there to guide me and tell me the right things to say. It was great that she would be there too, but Effie was not like Haymitch; she was not a friend who understood me and had been through a similar tragedy.

 

I had just tucked the girls in and read them a bedtime story when I found Haymitch in my library. Haven, one of my personal does, sat beside him on the couch having her ears scratched. It was the night before we left for the Tour.

“Are you ready?” Haymitch asked, not turning from the couch to look at me in the doorway.

“No, but I have to do it anyway,” I replied.

“You’re going to need your sleep, princess,” Haymitch said as Haven hopped off of him and trotted over to me. The great russet-coloured dog sat at my feet and looked up at me with calm brown eyes. I kneeled down and took her into my arms. When I pulled away she left to make her nightly rounds of the house.

I stood and faced Haymitch again. “I’ll need you to do that,” I said in reference to sleep.

He got up without saying a word and started walking toward the door. I snatched his arm as he passed me. “You never told me what they’re going to do to me.”

Haymitch looked down at me with blank grey eyes. He didn’t try to reclaim his arm. “I don’t want to tell you, because I feel like if I don’t I’ll be able to save you somehow.”

Shock was apparent on my face. He had never been so forward about something so emotional and caring before, especially not sober. I let him go and wordlessly followed him to my room. I went into my bathroom for a shower. When I was done I pulled on my robe and walked into my bedroom. Haymitch was already in bed with a book of mine. I stretched out next to him, not bothering to change out my bathrobe. I saw him looking at me through my barely-parted lashes.

“What?” I grumbled.

“Nothing,” Haymitch sighed.

“I could take the robe off, then you’d feel even more awkward.”

“People have been saying things.”

“Since when do you care about that?”

“I don’t want you to get hurt because you’re soiling your pure image in the Capitol.”

I laughed. “I’ve killed people and they watched. How am I pure in their eyes? They began to like me after I started flirting with Flickerman. I haven’t fucked you yet, but that doesn’t mean I’m a virgin.”

“They see your relationship with me as sullying your goodness because I’m a drunk,” He said. “Wait, what do you mean, ‘yet’?”

“Then don’t be a drunk,” I ignored the second part with a growl. I got out of bed and left the room.

I went back into my study and curled up on the couch. I felt anger boiling within me, but when I realized how dark it was I froze. Anything could be hiding in here. Where was Haven? My body began to shake, but I could not move it of my own will. I did not know whether to slam my eyes shut or keep them wide open.

Footsteps came down the hall. How long had it been? Did I fall asleep? It was still just as dark, just as terrifying. They were coming near me. Where could I run? How could I attack? They could be anywhere, everywhere.

Light flooded the room in an instant, blinding me. My heart burned and clenched in my chest. I tried to scramble up but tripped on the end of my robe.

Someone caught me. I fought against them, but they just held me closer.

“Kisalia, it’s me. It’s just me.”

My body shuddered in relief at the familiar voice. I buried my face into the familiar scent of Haymitch’s chest as I clung to him. My robe had opened, but neither of us seemed to care. He carried me back to the safety of my room. He didn’t make me untangle myself from his body as we laid side by side.

I finally lifted my head to look at him. Without much thought I pressed my lips against his. They tasted like toothpaste and faintly of alcohol. He didn’t drink at night anymore. I took care of him during the day and he took care of me a night.

Haymitch moved his head away from mine. “Should I take that as a form of protest?” He cocked an eyebrow as he looked at me.

It took me a while to realize he was referring to our earlier conversation about my “pure” reputation. “There are many things that could be taken as,” I replied, planting my face against his chest once more. I was still too freaked-out to be avoidant and turn the other way, but I still did not care to see his reaction or for him to see mine.


End file.
